Haven't been here for a while, the main reason is because that I was putting myself together and let myself get back to where I was 6 months ago. I was so happy and innocent back at that time. I am writing this to myself because I feel that I should love myself more and cherish myself more. During the last half year, I have been happy and sad; I have experienced a lot, and I think it will sink in for some time. I may not understand the world and the life I am living, but I am on the road now.

 

I should feel really sad and despaired, but at the end of my 6-month era, I am pretty in a peace. Occasionally, I feel that my heart is stung by some sort of needles, and it hurts a little bit. I still dream about the best thing that could happen to me, but I am so afriad of waking up, facing the reality. Truth hurts! I am a good dreamer, and I am always hoping there would be some kind of miracles soon. It's sad at this point. As much as I know something I have done will never be undone, I still have some hope inside my heart. Maybe this is called optimism, but when you realize that you have to live your life, and deal with the daily things, you will get disappointed and a little stressed. Yeah, this is the process of getting over something--it's necessary and good to some extent.

 

At the beginning of the new era, I am also very excited about the things that will happen to me. My future is unpredictable and mysterious, and I kind of like it. I am still myself and maybe this is the most important treasure a person can have--the sanity, nobody can take it away, it's always yours, no matter what happens, wherever you go, whenever you are. Thank god, I didn't lose myself completely, and I am not weak or stupid. I fell, but I stood up eventually.

 

In the following days, I will love myself more, and I will treat myself better than anyone else ever did...

 

Night Hylic...

Haven't read for a long time, and I gradually found that I am losing the capability of writing and thinking properly. Isn't this sad? As always, it's easy to say, but it takes determination and will to do it. I am confused right now.

 

As the globe is becoming hotter and hotter, I found even before summer comes, the weather is unbearably uncomfortable--high moisture and temperature. How can I survive the summer in Shanghai? One of the hottest city in China...Another sad possible fact is that in "an inconvenient truth" Gores says that when the sea level rises, Shanghai will be under water! Now, apparently, this city is like New York in the States, but the future is really unpredictable...God Bless...

 

Well, since when I have been concerned the global warming? I used to think that this is something far away from my daily life, but recently as the summer comes closer, I am kind of worried how I can live in the summer? Will Shanghai have high like 40 degrees? Will Sichuan be dry again? Will Yangtzi River flood?

 

Bless this land~~

Well, it's right that I should get down to business now. After all the time I have squandered, I finally woke up now. All I can hope is that it's not too late now.

 

Honestly, I had the most miserable May Day ever this year, though my college classmates came to visited me and they made my holiday brighter than it would have been. It's always good to have some companies around to hang out with when you are really down, so I enjoyed my time with them. But after that, I am going to face the brutal reality that is belonging to me. This summer I am going to thinking about finding a job! OMG!! Finding a job!! Yes, it's the reality, like it or not! I never thought I could end up like this when I came to this university 2 years ago. I am not saying finding a job is the worst thing on earth, but I am not really ready for that. Looking back last year, my senior classmates were trying to so hard to find the jobs they are satisfied. In our field, it's not always easy to find the right job for you, and for all the time, it's quite competitive, because there are always more people than the vacancies--the unchanging truth!

 

I can still remember several months ago, I could wake up in the middle of night, having those terrifying job searching dreams or those grades dropping dreams. But now, I am like whatever or those things can not even prod me at all. I am becoming numb! This is dangerous! Or maybe I am worrying too much? Anyway, the other day, when I read one of my friends space, saying how hard it is for him to work alone in Beijing, the huge city in China, I began to worry--man! I am not even half as good as him, how can I even survive in Shanghai, the same huge city in China! Yes, it's time to think about myself now! Get prepared and stand up!

 

When writing this now, I am kind of complicated. I am making my determination here, but I am not sure if I can stick to my plan till the end. It's like when I go the lab, trying hard to do the jobs, but who knows the jobs would turn out to be in vain eventually. I mean, I am taking a risk, and this is how life goes on. Willing to stake my life on the hope gives me a chance of lasting in the end...